Child Sexual Abuse: What Parents Need to Know!

Preventing child sexual abuse can only be accomplished by knowing the facts about pedophiles and the effects of child abuse. In my experience as a therapist, I’ve met countless parents and professionals who were amazed by their inability to recognize abusive people, abusive situations and sexually abused children.  I tell them this truth: Pedophiles are clever, confused individuals, most of whom, on the outside seem to love children. As part of their pathology, pedophiles are manipulative and shrewd.  They confuse and outwit us. They catch both children and adults in their fabricated web - the adults who, ironically, have trusted them.  They may spend months even years grooming both parents and children, trust building and becoming members of the family or they may be members of the family. When parents ask themselves why, the answers most frequently heard are – They are lonely, playful, childlike – just a big kid – just want to help or have formed a bond with my child.

Pedophiles tend to find jobs or volunteer where they have access to children. It is not uncommon for a pedophile to target single mothers to date or befriend families in chaos – who’s attention is focused on divorce, a death of a family member or some other family event.

Then there are also wonderful, dedicated and trained individuals who devote their lives to working with children.

How do we know the difference between Pedophiles and dedicated people?

Notice the quality of the interactions – is there intensity, isolating behaviors, maybe your child has an unusually heightened need to be with this person, avoids them or resists going – look also for your child’s emotional responses.

Some Ways to Identify Pedophiles:

1. Intense interest in Children or obviously ignores them.

2. People who make children their “projects” – offers extra help, guidance, special attention.

3. Has few friends of their own age and may consider the child as a friend.

4. Never married, single, lives with parents or moves often.

5. Participates in activities that involve children and attracts children.

6. May seem young and child-like.

7. Gives gifts to children or parents.

8. Sudden invitations to bring the child to places children enjoy.

9. Asks for the help of a child – “watch my dog, bring my newspaper – etc.”

10. Takes excessive photos of children.

11. Emails or calls your child.

12. Your child talks of an adult friend or someone who IM’s them online.

13. Wants to visit your child in the yard, at the playground, in their room – anywhere away from you.

What to do:

Dare to make a mistake.

One embarrassed adult is a small price to pay for saving a child.

Check the State and National Child Abuse Registry – Keep in mind, look at how many are registered in your community – Remember that is about 1/8 of the actual pedophiles – Most have not been caught yet.

Report your concerns to the police and to child protective services – Remember – they may or may not be able to help. Even if they try – most of the time they fail. They are not responsible for protecting your child – you are.

The agencies dedicated to protecting children are limited by laws, afraid to make mistakes, are understaffed, under - funded and under educated.

Even if authorities tell you “don’t worry” – Trust Your Self!

This article was written by Connie Robillard, a victim of child sexual abuse. As a child sexual abuse survivor, Connie has written this article for the purpose of preventing child sexual abuse and demonstrating some of the signs and symptoms of an abused child or identifying a pedophile. If you suspect a child is being abused sexually, physically, or emotionally call 911 immediately. Reporting child abuse is not only important, it's also the law!

See Connie's Documentary and Book about Child Abuse